i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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