Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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