I heard we made out
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
