You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
