They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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