what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
