I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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