what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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