I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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