I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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