if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
