Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
