I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
