dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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