Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
