bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?