Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.