I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
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the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
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I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?