I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave