How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
