Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
