While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You may now shotgun with the bride
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
