My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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