yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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