we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Vodka?
Forever.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
