Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
