Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
