Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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