After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
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Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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