think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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