so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
