I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
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The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
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I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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