I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
