in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
