i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
