I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My ass is underappreciated
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
