hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Dicks are not precious.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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