Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
