I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
35 Of The Funniest Things People Said While Banging
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.