wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.