I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.