I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
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he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....