The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.