i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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