I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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