Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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