There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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