My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I didn't notice because vodka
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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