just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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