batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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