you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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