if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize