I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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