She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
