the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize