at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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