My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
