I just made out with a guy for $7.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
