Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
