Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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