im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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