Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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