My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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