she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
