I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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