You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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