THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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