I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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