Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
