FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
