pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
