Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize