I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
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Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
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Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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