I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
