Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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